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Who am I?
Hi! I am Shanen. I've been a therapist for more than a decade, and somewhere along the way I realized I really like working with people who are good at being good at things.
You know the type. Maybe you are the type. You were the gifted kid. The responsible one. The helper. The person who figured things out. You became a therapist, teacher, doctor, nurse, professional, parent, business owner, or just a really capable adult. People come to you when things go sideways because obviously you'll know what to do.
Except eventually being the person who can handle everything gets really freaking exhausting. A lot of my clients find me around that point.
Sometimes it's burnout. Sometimes it's anxiety. Sometimes their relationship is changing, their career doesn't fit anymore, someone died, they're getting divorced, they're graduating, or they're staring at a life that looks pretty damn good on paper wondering why they aren't happier in it.
I love that stuff. Not because I love that you're going through it, obviously. That would be weird. I love the part where we get to pull everything apart and figure out what stays and what doesn't.
I'm curious by nature and probably incapable of pretending I didn't notice something. If you casually drop a very important piece of information into the last four minutes of a session, I regret to inform you that I heard it.
I'm also not a therapist who is going to nod for 50 minutes while you tell me about the same problem for the sixth month in a row. There is absolutely a time for venting. Sometimes life is terrible and you need somebody to sit in it with you without immediately trying to turn it into a growth opportunity. I can do that.
But eventually I'm probably going to ask what we're going to do about it.
I think you can have an enormous amount of compassion for yourself while also admitting that maybe, just maybe, you're contributing to your own misery a little bit. I've certainly had to learn that lesson myself.
Before private practice, I worked all over the mental health world: substance use treatment, community mental health, public education, integrated healthcare. I've seen enough of the system to know that people rarely fit nicely into the boxes we've created for them. I'm far more interested in how you got here, what you've learned to believe about yourself, and whether those beliefs still make sense.
That's also why I tend to lean heavily on Narrative Therapy. Words matter to me. Stories matter to me. The way we describe ourselves matters. There's a pretty big difference between I failed at something and I am a failure, even though our brains are remarkably talented at turning the first one into the second.
So we'll talk about that.
We'll also talk about boundaries, relationships, grief, anxiety, burnout, ADHD, perfectionism, identity, your nervous system, and whatever else you drag through the virtual door that week.
There will probably be sarcasm. There will definitely be questions. Sometimes I'll challenge you. Sometimes I'll tell you that you're doing enough and need to knock it off for a minute. Sometimes we'll spend the entire session talking about the thing you swore you weren't going to talk about. That's therapy. At least, that's therapy with me.
You don't need to show up knowing exactly what's wrong or what you want to do about it. You don't need the right words. Just show up. We'll figure out the rest!
We might be a good fit if…
You are very good at functioning while quietly wondering how much longer you can keep functioning like this.
A lot of the people I work with are high achievers, former gifted kids, twice-exceptional adults, perfectionists, helpers, and people who have spent most of their lives being described as "capable." They get things done. Other people rely on them. They are usually pretty self-aware. And they're tired.
I especially love working with therapists, teachers, healthcare professionals, and other people who spend their days taking care of everyone else. I also work with a lot of women, LGBTQIA+ adults, neurodivergent folks, and people whose lives or relationships don't necessarily fit neatly into the boxes we've been handed.
You might be dealing with anxiety, ADHD, burnout, grief, relationship stuff, or a major life transition. Or maybe nothing has completely fallen apart. You just know something isn't working anymore.
You don't have to be in crisis to decide you want your life to feel different! Sometimes it is best to start when things are just okay.
So what is therapy with me actually like?
At the heart of therapy, I believe that every person’s story is unique, and so should be their path to healing. So first, you don't have to perform here.
You don't need to say things the "right" way, know all the therapy words, or show up every week with something profound to discuss. Actually, I prefer you just show up authentically (you can leave social media jargon in your notes app). Some weeks we're going to unpack the existential crisis you've been having since 2019. Other weeks we're going to talk about why one completely reasonable email ruined your entire Tuesday. Both count, both are valid.
I'm naturally curious, so I ask a lot of questions. I use a lot of Narrative Therapy because I'm interested in the stories you've picked up about yourself along the way. Who told you that being productive makes you valuable? When did needing help become a character flaw? Why does disappointing someone feel vaguely like you're going to die? You know. Casual Tuesday stuff. We'll look at patterns, talk about where they came from, and more importantly, figure out what you want to do differently now.
Sometimes that means learning actual skills for anxiety, emotional regulation, boundaries, ADHD, or communication. Sometimes it means grieving something you can't fix. Sometimes it means realizing the goal isn't becoming better at carrying everything.
It's putting some of it down.
I won't push you faster than you're ready to go, but I'm also not going to pretend I don't notice when you're hiding behind "I'm working on it." Therapy can be supportive and still have some teeth.